Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The Beginning..But Not Really

This is the first post on this blog, but hardly the beginning of my infertility journey, but I guess it is the beginning of this blog and the beginning of IVF so in that way it is the beginning.  My husband and I have been TTC (trying to conceive) since December, 2014.  After a year of ovulation tests, cervical mucus tracking, and "well timed unprotected intercourse" with no success, we began the fertility process.

In December, 2015 I had a HSG (hysterosapingogram) to test whether my tubes were open--all normal.  Which was a relief.  I have a family history and symptoms consistent with endometriosis and was always concerned it would affect my ability to get pregnant.  While whether it will remains to be seen, the first step of clear tubes was a relief.

Thereafter, my husband had a SA (semen analysis).  The first SA was "abnormal" but we were told there is a very slight difference between normal and abnormal.  The second was "normal" but again not too far off from the first.  I would say it's basically borderline.

We also underwent genetic testing which showed I am carrier for "Fragile X Syndrome" but luckily my numbers are so low I am barely a carrier and would likely not worry about adverse effects on my children but something that future generations should be aware of and test for before having children.

In March, 2016, we did our first IUI with Clomid (meds to increase follicle(egg) production), Ovidrel (trigger shot to induce ovulation), and two inseminations.  We had 3 follicles and were told that the sperm count after the wash was "good."  Our clinic wants over 5 million and while I don't remember exactly what it was each time on that IUI it was probably between 9 and 16 million, that's generally where it has been each time.  That IUI failed and I got my period exactly 14 days after the trigger shot (2 days before I was scheduled to have the beta (pregnancy) test.)

In April, 2016, we did another IUI, same deal Clomid (3 follicles), Ovidrel trigger shot, 2 inseminations, and a sperm count after the wash that was "good but not great."  Again, I got my period before I was due to go back for a pregnancy test.

We took the next cycle off because due to travel I would not be able to go to my fertility clinic for an ultrasound and bloodwork in order to start Clomid in time for my cycle.  Well that was part of it. There was the option to go in the day I returned from my trip (did I mention I got my period just as I was about to get on a plane to go away by myself for work, that was a fun plane ride) to go in and see if they could still do the Clomid and IUI process, but quite frankly I wanted a break.  Therefore, we went back to trying to get pregnant the "old fashioned way" (plus the inclusion of modern technology such as fertility apps (I was tracking my cycle with 3), ovulation tests, and cervical mucus monitoring.) Big surprise, I didn't get pregnant.  But you already knew that or why else would I have this blog?

In June, we decided to go for IUI #3, the last one that would be covered by my insurance (I am really lucky to have great infertility coverage on my insurance and because I met my deductible/out of pocket max earlier thanks to the HSG, regular doctors appointments and having a deductible year that goes Dec to Dec means that a lot of my treatment has been fully paid for (including meds).  I decided to have a positive attitude and decide that third time was going to be the charm.  Same routine, same results. 3 follicles once again & I had myself convinced not only was it going to work, but I was going to to figure out having triplets.  As I was feeling all of these weird twinges and pains I hadn't felt in the past IUIs I tried to stay positive and cautiously optimistic.  I started listening to music at work that was supposed to be certain sound waves to improve fertility and reproductive health and tried to stay as calm and positive as possible.  Two days before I was scheduled to have the beta test I began to spot, the following day I had full flow and a full blown migraine (the present I now get with the start of my period--"Hey not only are you not pregnant, have a migraine for your troubles!)

I e-mailed my nurse and patient coordinator at my clinic to ask about the next steps.  I was scheduled for an IVF consultation with my doctor.  I wanted to be able to ask questions about why things aren't working (they're constantly very positive and saying things are "good" but at this stage I want them to level with me about what the deal is.) I also want to know if my possible endometriosis may be a cause of my issues and whether it is time to schedule laparoscopic surgery.  Although I've had several ultrasounds both to evaluate for endometriosis and as part of my fertility treatments, I have been advised the only true way to diagnose endometriosis is to have lap surgery to evaluate.

After setting up the consultation, my clinic started the ball rolling on my IVF protocol.  First step, a prescription for birth control pills.  Which sounds counter-intuitive and luckily I did some research beforehand otherwise I would have been shocked when one of the nurses called to tell me they were starting me on birth control.  I've got to say, of all of the fertility process so far, taking birth control to try to get pregnant has got to be my favorite.  It just makes me smile at the irony.  For those who are wondering why, it is so that they can control follicles growing at the same time.

Next, I needed to sign up for a meds class (taking this Thursday) and was told I would need a saline sonogram (going to do after my IVF consult on Friday) which I had already read on infertility boards is painful.  I have a high pain tolerance so I hope I can handle it, but many online describe it as excruciating.

I most recently received my protocol schedule with the various meds I'll be taking, days I need to go in for ultrasounds and blood work, approx. date of egg retrieval (won't be known for certain until after monitoring) and approx. days for IVF and pregnancy test.  I must say, it is all starting to get overwhelming and scary.  I also received a several page consent form that my husband and I must sign and have notarized.  IVF is a big jump from IUI.  It is much more involved with a lot more risks and side effects.  My favorite possible "side effect" listed on the consent form is pregnancy...well, duh!

Also, looking at the expense for everything is crazy! Approx $17,000 for the IVF plus $3,000-$8,000 for meds! As I said I am fortunate my insurance will cover it.  They cover 2 IVFs and if on a cycle  you only put in one fresh embryo instead of two, they will cover another cycle with a frozen embryo and count those two cycles as 1.  But that still leads me to think, well what do I do if it doesn't work and I reach my insurance limits?!  My insurance also doesn't cover the cryopreservation of embryos ($1,1550) which was due before we could start the cycle.  Compared to the total expense and what some couples pay it is not a lot, but it is also not an insignificant sum to come up with on short notice.

That all brings me to this blog and why I started it.  IVF is scary and I'm freaking out a bit.  I have not discussed the trying to get pregnant process with really anyone except my husband and close friends who went through their own fertility struggles (and are now parents to a beautiful 2 year old).  I briefly told my parents about doing IUI, but my mother is so desperate for grandchildren, I can't deal with her disappointment in me not being pregnant, so I really don't like to talk to her about it.  As far as the IVF, the only person who knows right now is my husband and the medical professionals at our clinic.  It's lonely and scary to go through somewhat alone.  Yes, there are thousands if not millions of infertility message boards I could go on and I do lurk on many and my clinic has a support group which I am going to try to attend (hard to schedule around work especially since I have to miss so much work for various fertility related appointments), but that didn't feel right.

I figured a blog would be a good way for me to get out my feelings and thoughts (as wordy and loquacious as I want to be) and if people stumble upon it and want to engage in a conversation with me, that's great.  If they read it and feel better because they're going through a similar situation, that's great. And if no one reads it, but it is something I can type up while sitting in waiting rooms or feeling anxious about this whole process, well that's great too.

So here it is, yet another infertility blog.  This one is my story and my experience.

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