I had my second ultrasound today. I have 6 follicles over 10 (3 on the left and 3 on the right). They are all between 13 and 15mm. I have 1 or 2 follicles under 10. My RE said to come back on Sunday for another ultrasound and blood work and that he anticipates I will be directed to trigger Sunday night and come back on Tuesday for the retrieval.
Not sure how I feel about this. A part of me is worried 6 isn't enough, especially when I hear stories of people having 10 or 16 and especially when I hear that such a small percentage can fertilize sometimes and then less that develop to embryos and blastocysts. I was hoping to have enough to both implant and then freeze so that I have options for having children in the future and can use younger eggs. (I'm always thinking further in advance.)
I don't know, maybe I'm just worrying too much and should be happy I have 6 when some women end up with even less. We'll see what Sunday's story brings.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Another Update
Got a call from the fertility this afternoon after they reviewed my bloodwork and re-reviewed my ultrasound. My RE decided I should double my Menopur and start the Ganirelix tonight. That essentially pushes up what was on my initial protocol by about 2 days. My husband is also supposed to start Doxycycline to prevent any infections in his sample.
First Ultrasound after Starting IVF Meds
Today was my first ultrasound and bloodwork appointment after starting my IVF meds. I had 6 follicles. Not sure if that's good or bad (will start Googling & torturing myself on the fertility boards and likely find everything from it's great to it is horrible!). It also pushed up my protocol by one day. My husband will start taking doxycycline tomorrow instead of on Friday to prevent any possible infections in his sperm. I will add Ganirelex to my injections tomorrow (to prevent ovulation) and also increase my Menopur to 2 vials (I'm guessing to help the follicles grow).
This morning was the first morning since I started stimming that I woke up without a migraine, so that is a plus! The RE said that the migraines are generally caused my low estrogen (which makes sense as I generally get them the first day of my period when estrogen tanks) and that it should get better from here. I hope so!
Tonight I am also trying a Reiki session for general healing and hopefully to help with the fertility. (Hey why not try everything?) I will do a post on how that goes.
This morning was the first morning since I started stimming that I woke up without a migraine, so that is a plus! The RE said that the migraines are generally caused my low estrogen (which makes sense as I generally get them the first day of my period when estrogen tanks) and that it should get better from here. I hope so!
Tonight I am also trying a Reiki session for general healing and hopefully to help with the fertility. (Hey why not try everything?) I will do a post on how that goes.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Injections
Last night was my second night of injections. Continues to go fine and the injection really is no big deal. Don't need to use much pressure and doesn't really hurt (tiniest of pinches). The only surprise is how easy it is and how much blood there is. (Not a lot, but more than the dot I'd expect. I want to be able to just blot with a tissue and move on, but I do need to use a band-aid, so of course straight to Amazon to get injection specific bandages. I went with these ones because they were relatively cheap and I didn't need 500 that other brands offered.)
Since starting the injections, I have noticed slight twinges in my lower abdomen. Whether it's actually my ovaries growing follicles or psychosomatic, who knows? I have also been "blessed" with headaches each morning since starting injections. I am a migraine sufferer and the only thing that helps is Excedrin or Rx meds, both no-no's once pregnant. Yesterday morning I took one (instead of the regular 2) Excedrin pill to try to ward off the migraine I felt coming. Then of course I did a bit of Googling and found you are not supposed to take Excedrin while stimming either. Guess I should have searched first, but I'm not going to beat myself up about 1 pill early my first day of stimming when my RE never told me it was a no-no. Excedrin is made up of 3 components: acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine. Acetaminophen is ok when stimming/pregnant, caffeine consumption should be limited but isn't totally off limits, and my protocol includes baby aspirin to encourage blood flow to my uterus. So while I'll probably tough it out from here on out, I'm not going to beat myself up or think I may have "ruined" something. Live, learn, do better going forward.
Today I not only have a headache but am having serious problems concentrating at work, am super emotional (have broken down in tears and got overly frustrated with my brother about something). I also am tired and just counting the minutes til I can go home. While I must admit I am always tired, I woke up this morning feeling as though I slept well and was, for once, refreshed and not exhausted so you'd think I wouldn't be so exhausted. Unfortunately, I've red fatigue is a side effect too. (Or it could be the crying, crying always makes me tired.)
So that's today's journey, emotional, tired, and a bit of a mess. Hopefully this isn't a pattern that continues!
Since starting the injections, I have noticed slight twinges in my lower abdomen. Whether it's actually my ovaries growing follicles or psychosomatic, who knows? I have also been "blessed" with headaches each morning since starting injections. I am a migraine sufferer and the only thing that helps is Excedrin or Rx meds, both no-no's once pregnant. Yesterday morning I took one (instead of the regular 2) Excedrin pill to try to ward off the migraine I felt coming. Then of course I did a bit of Googling and found you are not supposed to take Excedrin while stimming either. Guess I should have searched first, but I'm not going to beat myself up about 1 pill early my first day of stimming when my RE never told me it was a no-no. Excedrin is made up of 3 components: acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine. Acetaminophen is ok when stimming/pregnant, caffeine consumption should be limited but isn't totally off limits, and my protocol includes baby aspirin to encourage blood flow to my uterus. So while I'll probably tough it out from here on out, I'm not going to beat myself up or think I may have "ruined" something. Live, learn, do better going forward.
Today I not only have a headache but am having serious problems concentrating at work, am super emotional (have broken down in tears and got overly frustrated with my brother about something). I also am tired and just counting the minutes til I can go home. While I must admit I am always tired, I woke up this morning feeling as though I slept well and was, for once, refreshed and not exhausted so you'd think I wouldn't be so exhausted. Unfortunately, I've red fatigue is a side effect too. (Or it could be the crying, crying always makes me tired.)
So that's today's journey, emotional, tired, and a bit of a mess. Hopefully this isn't a pattern that continues!
Sunday, July 24, 2016
First Day of IVF Meds
Tonight was my first day of taking my IVF meds for stimulating my follicles to grow. My protocol is that I take one vial of Menopur (75iu) and 300 iu of Gonal-f. In my teach class I learned how to mix the meds so I take one injection instead of two.
So basically it's take 1/2 cc of sodium chloride, inject it into the Menopur vial (Menopur comes as a powder that needs to be mixed with sodium chloride). Then add the Gonal-f to the vial, draw everything's up into the syringe, add the proper gage needle and inject. I'm over simplifying as I'm sure if you're doing IVF meds your RE and/or clinic will instruct you as to how to administer yours.
My nerves about the injection was how much pressure I would need to use for the needle to puncture the skin. As it turns out, very little. I am not squeamish so maybe that's why it was easy for me, but I simple pinched some of my skin on my stomach, inserted the needle, pushed in the meds, held for 3 seconds as instructed, released, and pulled the needle out. There was no pain (the expected feeling from inserting the needle but really it's the same as any injection, probably less so than your typical vaccine which is intramuscular rather than subcutaneous). I had read that Menopur stings/burns, it didn't. The only thing I was surprised by was that there was a bit more blood than I expected and when I say that, I mean that I expected there to be no blood and there was enough that I did need a bandaid. (Whenever getting vaccines I always thought the bandaid was overkill and thought how much blood could there be for a tiny needle. I guess there is actually some.)
So basically that was my first experience with doing my IVF injections. I think as with most things in life, the anticipation and concern about it is more than the reality.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Meds Arrive
Even after going over the meds and seeing hem in the teach class there is still a lot when it's all laid out like that. Plus there's stuff that wasn't at the teach class and even stuff not in my protocol. I guess it's just in case the protocol changes?
The scariest of all of it? The total charged and expected from the insurance....over $11,000! Glad and so lucky insurance covers it and all I pay is $15 for the syringes.
Frustration
This whole IVF process can be frustrating and overwhelming. Maybe I have a quick trigger, short fuse, and am a quitter, but so many times I just want to throw up my hands and say "I'm done!" Last week I had my IVF consult with my RE and spent a lot of time discussing genetic screening which would help to ensure the better likelihood of a successful pregnancy as well as the child not having Down's Syndrome. (More details can be found here.)
Typically, it means that you do not do a fresh transfer, but instead freeze the embryos while you await results and it can mean you get hit for 2 cycles by your insurance instead of 1. However, when I asked my RE about timeline he suddenly told me there was an option to test the blastocysts on day 5 and implant the next day on day 6 (and freeze the rest). That seemed like a plan to me and something I was willing to go forward with.
Today, I got an e-mail from my nurse in response to my e-mail from yesterday after I realized I forgot to start my baby aspirin on Sunday, saying it didn't matter as it was to support blood flow to the uterus for implantation and since I was doing genetic screening, I wouldn't be doing the transfer until later with a frozen transfer. This contradicts what my doctor said. The rational part of me knows that she was just responding with what is the standard protocol and that she likely hasn't discussed with my doctor what was discussed last week. But the tired, frustrated, and overstressed part of me is really angry and upset and pissed and doesn't even want to go forward. I know that may be silly, but I hate being told one thing only to then be told something contradictory. I made my decision regarding genetic screening based upon one representation and feel like I'm having the rug pulled out from under me to find out something else. The attorney part of me starts perking up when I'm told one thing to induce me to pay $3,000 and then told another afterwards, the word fraud starts circling around in my head.
I feel like I could ramble on and on about why it bothers me so much and some of you may get it and some of you may think I'm crazy, but for now I'll just leave it at I'm frustrated and pissed. Especially since I responded to my nurse with what my RE told me regarding the overnight test and it's been a few hours and no response. Maybe she's waiting to talk to the doctor, but it still annoys me.
It also annoys me that my doctor told me that my husband and I could sign the consent forms they require during morning monitoring hours (6:45-8) when I went in for my ultrasound/bloodwork on Friday and my nurse told me to come in at 8 to sign them between 8:15 and 8:30 because morning monitoring hours get "busy." Again, I understand it's two different people not communicating with each other, but don't other couples undergoing this have work? My husband has an hour plus commute from where the clinic is and is expected to be at work at 8:30. I work closer, but also am expected at work between 8:30 and 9. We will already have to take time off for the egg retrieval, etc... It's a pain to be expected to miss work to sign consent forms. They give you the option of doing it before a notary, but they only give one notary block on the form. (In the thousands of legal documents I have drafted and/or read in my career, I have never seen one notary block for 2 signatures, it is always one notary block per signature.) My husband and I should be able to go separately and not have to try to track down a notary (an issue we generally don't have as we are both notaries as are many people at work, so if we need something notarized we always have easy access, but asking a co-worker to notarize a IVF consent form isn't going to happen) and go together.
Ok, so that is my rant. The IVF journey I'm sure comes with it's highs and lows and many overreactions and just think, I'm not even on the crazy hormones yet! Although I think between the Clomid and Ovidrel from my IUI cycles and the birth control I'm taking now, my hormones aren't exactly at their "normal" level whatever that may be.
Typically, it means that you do not do a fresh transfer, but instead freeze the embryos while you await results and it can mean you get hit for 2 cycles by your insurance instead of 1. However, when I asked my RE about timeline he suddenly told me there was an option to test the blastocysts on day 5 and implant the next day on day 6 (and freeze the rest). That seemed like a plan to me and something I was willing to go forward with.
Today, I got an e-mail from my nurse in response to my e-mail from yesterday after I realized I forgot to start my baby aspirin on Sunday, saying it didn't matter as it was to support blood flow to the uterus for implantation and since I was doing genetic screening, I wouldn't be doing the transfer until later with a frozen transfer. This contradicts what my doctor said. The rational part of me knows that she was just responding with what is the standard protocol and that she likely hasn't discussed with my doctor what was discussed last week. But the tired, frustrated, and overstressed part of me is really angry and upset and pissed and doesn't even want to go forward. I know that may be silly, but I hate being told one thing only to then be told something contradictory. I made my decision regarding genetic screening based upon one representation and feel like I'm having the rug pulled out from under me to find out something else. The attorney part of me starts perking up when I'm told one thing to induce me to pay $3,000 and then told another afterwards, the word fraud starts circling around in my head.
I feel like I could ramble on and on about why it bothers me so much and some of you may get it and some of you may think I'm crazy, but for now I'll just leave it at I'm frustrated and pissed. Especially since I responded to my nurse with what my RE told me regarding the overnight test and it's been a few hours and no response. Maybe she's waiting to talk to the doctor, but it still annoys me.
It also annoys me that my doctor told me that my husband and I could sign the consent forms they require during morning monitoring hours (6:45-8) when I went in for my ultrasound/bloodwork on Friday and my nurse told me to come in at 8 to sign them between 8:15 and 8:30 because morning monitoring hours get "busy." Again, I understand it's two different people not communicating with each other, but don't other couples undergoing this have work? My husband has an hour plus commute from where the clinic is and is expected to be at work at 8:30. I work closer, but also am expected at work between 8:30 and 9. We will already have to take time off for the egg retrieval, etc... It's a pain to be expected to miss work to sign consent forms. They give you the option of doing it before a notary, but they only give one notary block on the form. (In the thousands of legal documents I have drafted and/or read in my career, I have never seen one notary block for 2 signatures, it is always one notary block per signature.) My husband and I should be able to go separately and not have to try to track down a notary (an issue we generally don't have as we are both notaries as are many people at work, so if we need something notarized we always have easy access, but asking a co-worker to notarize a IVF consent form isn't going to happen) and go together.
Ok, so that is my rant. The IVF journey I'm sure comes with it's highs and lows and many overreactions and just think, I'm not even on the crazy hormones yet! Although I think between the Clomid and Ovidrel from my IUI cycles and the birth control I'm taking now, my hormones aren't exactly at their "normal" level whatever that may be.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Next Big Steps (Part 1): The "Teach Class"
This week I had two big steps on my IVF journey: a "teach" class and my IVF consultation with my RE. To avoid too long a post, I will break this post up into two posts, one dedicated to the teach class, and the other to the consultation.
The Teach Class
The "teach" class is a class required by anyone undergoing IVF at my fertility clinic. The first hour of the teach class essentially explains what IVF is and the process. I was already familiar with the process from what I learned in school over the years as well as extensive "Googling." However, I'm sure it was helpful for those who had little familiarity with the subject and it never hurts to have yet another reminder and have everything fleshed out all together.
The second half of the class deals with learning about the meds/injectables that will be used for the IVF cycle and practicing mixing the meds and performing injections (on prosthetics). This was helpful as I am definitely a tactile learner and while I would probably be able to figure it out and do it on my own, the whole IVF process, especially the injectable medications, is overwhelming. I was set up with the meds that will be in my protocol and others received the meds for theirs. I also got to learn a bit about other people's protocols and possible meds that may be added to my protocol.
It was definitely worthwhile and worth the experience. I don't know if all fertility clinics have a similar teach class, but they should. I am a big Real Housewives fan (as you may know from some of my other blogs) and have been watching OC Housewife, Meghan King Edmonds, on her IVF journey this season. I also checked out her IVF Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meghansivfjourney/ One thing I've learned from her journey is her RE/clinic has a different process for injections than mine. At my teach class, I learned how to mix my injections (Menapur and Gonal F and later Garilinex) so that I am only taking one injection a day. Meghan was taking up to 3 shots a day! Every process is different, but I appreciate that my clinic wants to cut down on the number of shots, then again the Gonal F pre-loaded pen is pretty cool I kinda just want to be able to use that! But why have more injections than I need to!
The Teach Class
The "teach" class is a class required by anyone undergoing IVF at my fertility clinic. The first hour of the teach class essentially explains what IVF is and the process. I was already familiar with the process from what I learned in school over the years as well as extensive "Googling." However, I'm sure it was helpful for those who had little familiarity with the subject and it never hurts to have yet another reminder and have everything fleshed out all together.
The second half of the class deals with learning about the meds/injectables that will be used for the IVF cycle and practicing mixing the meds and performing injections (on prosthetics). This was helpful as I am definitely a tactile learner and while I would probably be able to figure it out and do it on my own, the whole IVF process, especially the injectable medications, is overwhelming. I was set up with the meds that will be in my protocol and others received the meds for theirs. I also got to learn a bit about other people's protocols and possible meds that may be added to my protocol.
It was definitely worthwhile and worth the experience. I don't know if all fertility clinics have a similar teach class, but they should. I am a big Real Housewives fan (as you may know from some of my other blogs) and have been watching OC Housewife, Meghan King Edmonds, on her IVF journey this season. I also checked out her IVF Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meghansivfjourney/ One thing I've learned from her journey is her RE/clinic has a different process for injections than mine. At my teach class, I learned how to mix my injections (Menapur and Gonal F and later Garilinex) so that I am only taking one injection a day. Meghan was taking up to 3 shots a day! Every process is different, but I appreciate that my clinic wants to cut down on the number of shots, then again the Gonal F pre-loaded pen is pretty cool I kinda just want to be able to use that! But why have more injections than I need to!
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
The Beginning..But Not Really
This is the first post on this blog, but hardly the beginning of my infertility journey, but I guess it is the beginning of this blog and the beginning of IVF so in that way it is the beginning. My husband and I have been TTC (trying to conceive) since December, 2014. After a year of ovulation tests, cervical mucus tracking, and "well timed unprotected intercourse" with no success, we began the fertility process.
In December, 2015 I had a HSG (hysterosapingogram) to test whether my tubes were open--all normal. Which was a relief. I have a family history and symptoms consistent with endometriosis and was always concerned it would affect my ability to get pregnant. While whether it will remains to be seen, the first step of clear tubes was a relief.
Thereafter, my husband had a SA (semen analysis). The first SA was "abnormal" but we were told there is a very slight difference between normal and abnormal. The second was "normal" but again not too far off from the first. I would say it's basically borderline.
We also underwent genetic testing which showed I am carrier for "Fragile X Syndrome" but luckily my numbers are so low I am barely a carrier and would likely not worry about adverse effects on my children but something that future generations should be aware of and test for before having children.
In March, 2016, we did our first IUI with Clomid (meds to increase follicle(egg) production), Ovidrel (trigger shot to induce ovulation), and two inseminations. We had 3 follicles and were told that the sperm count after the wash was "good." Our clinic wants over 5 million and while I don't remember exactly what it was each time on that IUI it was probably between 9 and 16 million, that's generally where it has been each time. That IUI failed and I got my period exactly 14 days after the trigger shot (2 days before I was scheduled to have the beta (pregnancy) test.)
In April, 2016, we did another IUI, same deal Clomid (3 follicles), Ovidrel trigger shot, 2 inseminations, and a sperm count after the wash that was "good but not great." Again, I got my period before I was due to go back for a pregnancy test.
We took the next cycle off because due to travel I would not be able to go to my fertility clinic for an ultrasound and bloodwork in order to start Clomid in time for my cycle. Well that was part of it. There was the option to go in the day I returned from my trip (did I mention I got my period just as I was about to get on a plane to go away by myself for work, that was a fun plane ride) to go in and see if they could still do the Clomid and IUI process, but quite frankly I wanted a break. Therefore, we went back to trying to get pregnant the "old fashioned way" (plus the inclusion of modern technology such as fertility apps (I was tracking my cycle with 3), ovulation tests, and cervical mucus monitoring.) Big surprise, I didn't get pregnant. But you already knew that or why else would I have this blog?
In June, we decided to go for IUI #3, the last one that would be covered by my insurance (I am really lucky to have great infertility coverage on my insurance and because I met my deductible/out of pocket max earlier thanks to the HSG, regular doctors appointments and having a deductible year that goes Dec to Dec means that a lot of my treatment has been fully paid for (including meds). I decided to have a positive attitude and decide that third time was going to be the charm. Same routine, same results. 3 follicles once again & I had myself convinced not only was it going to work, but I was going to to figure out having triplets. As I was feeling all of these weird twinges and pains I hadn't felt in the past IUIs I tried to stay positive and cautiously optimistic. I started listening to music at work that was supposed to be certain sound waves to improve fertility and reproductive health and tried to stay as calm and positive as possible. Two days before I was scheduled to have the beta test I began to spot, the following day I had full flow and a full blown migraine (the present I now get with the start of my period--"Hey not only are you not pregnant, have a migraine for your troubles!)
I e-mailed my nurse and patient coordinator at my clinic to ask about the next steps. I was scheduled for an IVF consultation with my doctor. I wanted to be able to ask questions about why things aren't working (they're constantly very positive and saying things are "good" but at this stage I want them to level with me about what the deal is.) I also want to know if my possible endometriosis may be a cause of my issues and whether it is time to schedule laparoscopic surgery. Although I've had several ultrasounds both to evaluate for endometriosis and as part of my fertility treatments, I have been advised the only true way to diagnose endometriosis is to have lap surgery to evaluate.
After setting up the consultation, my clinic started the ball rolling on my IVF protocol. First step, a prescription for birth control pills. Which sounds counter-intuitive and luckily I did some research beforehand otherwise I would have been shocked when one of the nurses called to tell me they were starting me on birth control. I've got to say, of all of the fertility process so far, taking birth control to try to get pregnant has got to be my favorite. It just makes me smile at the irony. For those who are wondering why, it is so that they can control follicles growing at the same time.
Next, I needed to sign up for a meds class (taking this Thursday) and was told I would need a saline sonogram (going to do after my IVF consult on Friday) which I had already read on infertility boards is painful. I have a high pain tolerance so I hope I can handle it, but many online describe it as excruciating.
I most recently received my protocol schedule with the various meds I'll be taking, days I need to go in for ultrasounds and blood work, approx. date of egg retrieval (won't be known for certain until after monitoring) and approx. days for IVF and pregnancy test. I must say, it is all starting to get overwhelming and scary. I also received a several page consent form that my husband and I must sign and have notarized. IVF is a big jump from IUI. It is much more involved with a lot more risks and side effects. My favorite possible "side effect" listed on the consent form is pregnancy...well, duh!
Also, looking at the expense for everything is crazy! Approx $17,000 for the IVF plus $3,000-$8,000 for meds! As I said I am fortunate my insurance will cover it. They cover 2 IVFs and if on a cycle you only put in one fresh embryo instead of two, they will cover another cycle with a frozen embryo and count those two cycles as 1. But that still leads me to think, well what do I do if it doesn't work and I reach my insurance limits?! My insurance also doesn't cover the cryopreservation of embryos ($1,1550) which was due before we could start the cycle. Compared to the total expense and what some couples pay it is not a lot, but it is also not an insignificant sum to come up with on short notice.
That all brings me to this blog and why I started it. IVF is scary and I'm freaking out a bit. I have not discussed the trying to get pregnant process with really anyone except my husband and close friends who went through their own fertility struggles (and are now parents to a beautiful 2 year old). I briefly told my parents about doing IUI, but my mother is so desperate for grandchildren, I can't deal with her disappointment in me not being pregnant, so I really don't like to talk to her about it. As far as the IVF, the only person who knows right now is my husband and the medical professionals at our clinic. It's lonely and scary to go through somewhat alone. Yes, there are thousands if not millions of infertility message boards I could go on and I do lurk on many and my clinic has a support group which I am going to try to attend (hard to schedule around work especially since I have to miss so much work for various fertility related appointments), but that didn't feel right.
I figured a blog would be a good way for me to get out my feelings and thoughts (as wordy and loquacious as I want to be) and if people stumble upon it and want to engage in a conversation with me, that's great. If they read it and feel better because they're going through a similar situation, that's great. And if no one reads it, but it is something I can type up while sitting in waiting rooms or feeling anxious about this whole process, well that's great too.
So here it is, yet another infertility blog. This one is my story and my experience.
In December, 2015 I had a HSG (hysterosapingogram) to test whether my tubes were open--all normal. Which was a relief. I have a family history and symptoms consistent with endometriosis and was always concerned it would affect my ability to get pregnant. While whether it will remains to be seen, the first step of clear tubes was a relief.
Thereafter, my husband had a SA (semen analysis). The first SA was "abnormal" but we were told there is a very slight difference between normal and abnormal. The second was "normal" but again not too far off from the first. I would say it's basically borderline.
We also underwent genetic testing which showed I am carrier for "Fragile X Syndrome" but luckily my numbers are so low I am barely a carrier and would likely not worry about adverse effects on my children but something that future generations should be aware of and test for before having children.
In March, 2016, we did our first IUI with Clomid (meds to increase follicle(egg) production), Ovidrel (trigger shot to induce ovulation), and two inseminations. We had 3 follicles and were told that the sperm count after the wash was "good." Our clinic wants over 5 million and while I don't remember exactly what it was each time on that IUI it was probably between 9 and 16 million, that's generally where it has been each time. That IUI failed and I got my period exactly 14 days after the trigger shot (2 days before I was scheduled to have the beta (pregnancy) test.)
In April, 2016, we did another IUI, same deal Clomid (3 follicles), Ovidrel trigger shot, 2 inseminations, and a sperm count after the wash that was "good but not great." Again, I got my period before I was due to go back for a pregnancy test.
We took the next cycle off because due to travel I would not be able to go to my fertility clinic for an ultrasound and bloodwork in order to start Clomid in time for my cycle. Well that was part of it. There was the option to go in the day I returned from my trip (did I mention I got my period just as I was about to get on a plane to go away by myself for work, that was a fun plane ride) to go in and see if they could still do the Clomid and IUI process, but quite frankly I wanted a break. Therefore, we went back to trying to get pregnant the "old fashioned way" (plus the inclusion of modern technology such as fertility apps (I was tracking my cycle with 3), ovulation tests, and cervical mucus monitoring.) Big surprise, I didn't get pregnant. But you already knew that or why else would I have this blog?
In June, we decided to go for IUI #3, the last one that would be covered by my insurance (I am really lucky to have great infertility coverage on my insurance and because I met my deductible/out of pocket max earlier thanks to the HSG, regular doctors appointments and having a deductible year that goes Dec to Dec means that a lot of my treatment has been fully paid for (including meds). I decided to have a positive attitude and decide that third time was going to be the charm. Same routine, same results. 3 follicles once again & I had myself convinced not only was it going to work, but I was going to to figure out having triplets. As I was feeling all of these weird twinges and pains I hadn't felt in the past IUIs I tried to stay positive and cautiously optimistic. I started listening to music at work that was supposed to be certain sound waves to improve fertility and reproductive health and tried to stay as calm and positive as possible. Two days before I was scheduled to have the beta test I began to spot, the following day I had full flow and a full blown migraine (the present I now get with the start of my period--"Hey not only are you not pregnant, have a migraine for your troubles!)
I e-mailed my nurse and patient coordinator at my clinic to ask about the next steps. I was scheduled for an IVF consultation with my doctor. I wanted to be able to ask questions about why things aren't working (they're constantly very positive and saying things are "good" but at this stage I want them to level with me about what the deal is.) I also want to know if my possible endometriosis may be a cause of my issues and whether it is time to schedule laparoscopic surgery. Although I've had several ultrasounds both to evaluate for endometriosis and as part of my fertility treatments, I have been advised the only true way to diagnose endometriosis is to have lap surgery to evaluate.
After setting up the consultation, my clinic started the ball rolling on my IVF protocol. First step, a prescription for birth control pills. Which sounds counter-intuitive and luckily I did some research beforehand otherwise I would have been shocked when one of the nurses called to tell me they were starting me on birth control. I've got to say, of all of the fertility process so far, taking birth control to try to get pregnant has got to be my favorite. It just makes me smile at the irony. For those who are wondering why, it is so that they can control follicles growing at the same time.
Next, I needed to sign up for a meds class (taking this Thursday) and was told I would need a saline sonogram (going to do after my IVF consult on Friday) which I had already read on infertility boards is painful. I have a high pain tolerance so I hope I can handle it, but many online describe it as excruciating.
I most recently received my protocol schedule with the various meds I'll be taking, days I need to go in for ultrasounds and blood work, approx. date of egg retrieval (won't be known for certain until after monitoring) and approx. days for IVF and pregnancy test. I must say, it is all starting to get overwhelming and scary. I also received a several page consent form that my husband and I must sign and have notarized. IVF is a big jump from IUI. It is much more involved with a lot more risks and side effects. My favorite possible "side effect" listed on the consent form is pregnancy...well, duh!
Also, looking at the expense for everything is crazy! Approx $17,000 for the IVF plus $3,000-$8,000 for meds! As I said I am fortunate my insurance will cover it. They cover 2 IVFs and if on a cycle you only put in one fresh embryo instead of two, they will cover another cycle with a frozen embryo and count those two cycles as 1. But that still leads me to think, well what do I do if it doesn't work and I reach my insurance limits?! My insurance also doesn't cover the cryopreservation of embryos ($1,1550) which was due before we could start the cycle. Compared to the total expense and what some couples pay it is not a lot, but it is also not an insignificant sum to come up with on short notice.
That all brings me to this blog and why I started it. IVF is scary and I'm freaking out a bit. I have not discussed the trying to get pregnant process with really anyone except my husband and close friends who went through their own fertility struggles (and are now parents to a beautiful 2 year old). I briefly told my parents about doing IUI, but my mother is so desperate for grandchildren, I can't deal with her disappointment in me not being pregnant, so I really don't like to talk to her about it. As far as the IVF, the only person who knows right now is my husband and the medical professionals at our clinic. It's lonely and scary to go through somewhat alone. Yes, there are thousands if not millions of infertility message boards I could go on and I do lurk on many and my clinic has a support group which I am going to try to attend (hard to schedule around work especially since I have to miss so much work for various fertility related appointments), but that didn't feel right.
I figured a blog would be a good way for me to get out my feelings and thoughts (as wordy and loquacious as I want to be) and if people stumble upon it and want to engage in a conversation with me, that's great. If they read it and feel better because they're going through a similar situation, that's great. And if no one reads it, but it is something I can type up while sitting in waiting rooms or feeling anxious about this whole process, well that's great too.
So here it is, yet another infertility blog. This one is my story and my experience.
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